25 days left in this decade. Thank you social media, for reminding me over and over and over that it’s the end of a decade, and that’s kind of a big deal. The past 10 years have been filled with ups and downs. I’m sure everyone can say that. I don’t know many people who spend 10 years doing absolutely nothing new or different, scary or exciting. But alas, here is my post reflecting on what 2010-2020 did to me. Ha! I think the only reason I’m really writing about it is because it was 10 years of raising kids, and that sounds both dreadful and heroic at the same time. 10 years of raising kids may seem boring, and let me tell you, a lot of the time it really was. I don’t care what anyone says, there is nothing mentally stimulating about cleaning up bodily functions. It’s exhausting and mind-numbing and yet, completely necessary in parenthood. Regardless, I feel like the past 10 years are an accomplishment for me. I made it. I’m still standing, mind and body intact. All of my kids can now do most basic things for themselves. But I’m rambling, which is something I’m prone to. The point of this is to reflect on how far I’ve come in 10 years.
It’s been a long tour…
TEN YEARS AGO:
This is the first picture I posted in 2010. It was taken on February 11, 2010. The morning after I gave birth to my son, Jack.
Things I’d like to note about this: 1. I was barely into social media 10 years ago. My posts were sporadic and I am SO GRATEFUL as those years were horribly difficult. 2. I clearly didn’t care about my greasy hair or what I looked like in an over-sized Sears housecoat. Pictured here is a 27 year old woman, her 20 month old daughter and the baby boy she just pushed out of her vagina hours before, at home, in her bedroom. She is basically a superhero.
And from here things go way downhill…
Here is a picture of me looking like I love my life, and yet I was in the depths of depression/eating disorder hell. This was the summer of 2010. TEN years ago!! NOT a glamorous time in my life.
10 years later…
Just kidding. That’s not me. I feel this though… Right in my soul.
This is me. Approaching my 37th birthday with my son, the sweet babe you saw in the first picture. In the past ten years I’ve felt the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I’ve accomplished great feats (ahem a marathon) and crashed and burned through some pretty monumental failures (the list is long). But I’m still here, an ever-changing, ever-evolving human on a mission. I’m still working towards some pretty lofty goals, and making mistakes as I go. The past 10 years has taught me that I’m far from perfect, and I don’t ever want to be. That sometimes I’m a little too much for some people, and that’s OK, because they’re not my people anyway. Ten years ago I cared far too much about things that didn’t matter. I cared what people thought of me. I wasted a lot of time and effort on people who didn’t deserve it. I also made many many mistakes. But that’s life, right? You live, you learn. I’m pretty stoked to start 2020, mainly because it feels like a clean slate, and I DO enjoy clean.
So here’s to the next decade. May it be filled with all good things, for all good humans.
Let’s do this!