I don’t know how to start this.
What I DO know is that I am so happy, perhaps happiest, when my friends send me selfies. Not the normal kind. Not the ones with the fake eyelash filter or the fake makeup. I want the opposite. I want the NO filter, look at how ugly I am right now pictures. I scroll through photo-shopped pictures nonstop. Isn’t that what Instagram actually is? A collection of filtered, beautiful people and scenery? Pretty sure that’s a yes. Sometimes I’m in the mood for something different. Something not so….boring! I want to see the people I love, keeping it real… and do they ever! My friends aim to please!
I was sitting at my desk this morning, explaining to my friend via messaging that I felt dusty (classic dry-shampoo overuse) and looked ashy (very Miss Havisham), and she sent me a series of her freshly waking up selfies, complete with exaggerated “ugh” looks on her face. I started laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face. It’s something I’m noticing as we are getting older. We are not the girls who post a million selfies of ourselves looking sun-kissed and beautiful. Instead, we send each other “I’M A MONSTER, LOOK AT THIS TRAIN WRECK!” pictures.
I send the most hideous pictures to my friends ALL THE TIME! In return, my friends send me pictures of them waking up…pictures with baby barf on their shirts… pictures of the random food stains on their pants that go unnoticed until they arrive in their offices. Why, just a few minutes ago I was sent a picture of perfect “martian hair” complete with foils and a funny facial expression. If you’re not sending selfies to your friends while you’re having your hair coloured you aren’t living. Guaranteed you aren’t laughing enough either. It doesn’t stop with pictures. It’s our conversations too. They are real and honest and I actually can’t imagine my life without this form of truth. This form of friendship. This form of connection.
There are so many negative things you can say about our use of technology these days. People are actually attached to their phones and it can be a little too much. But it’s also amazing. I can’t imagine how lonely life would be without my different group chats. In my spare moments I want to connect with my friends and let me tell you, a moment is really all we have. We plan our girls weekend MONTHS in advance. Our schedules are busy (this is a whole other ranty post that I could write). It’s hard to find the time to balance work, our families and our social lives. What we do have time for is ugly selfies, memes to make each other laugh and a place to write out a quick rant, knowing that if there are multiple women in the group chat, at least someone will have time to hear you out. Sometimes it’s 4:30 a.m. and your phone dings with a message from your friend who is in breakdown mode over her lawn furniture blowing away in a windstorm. So, you do what comes naturally to you. You drop some f-bombs with her and make her laugh with a stupid meme. That’s what friends are for.
So, if we are in a group chat together, if we text, or write each other long emails about nothing… THANK YOU! Thank you for being part of the train wreck that is my life. You make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me, ME!