What does a book of stamps in your purse say about you? Apparently, A LOT! I learned this, among other lessons last night.
At dinner, I sat around a table with 5 very awesome women. Our conversations were varied, and filled with laughter. We discussed the usual stuff: kids, husbands, travel, sex. I asked two of the women how they became friends, and they told me through a mom group at the mall. I was intrigued. I have had babies, and I know all about mom groups and those women who push strollers through the mall and then drop and do 50 sit-ups. I have been invited to take part in these events. I’ll admit that I always laughed and thought there was no way in hell I’d ever walk laps of the mall and then bust out some crunches and squats in public. I laughed at these two women. Maybe it makes me a mean person, but it IS kind of a funny story. Their friendship stemmed from a mom group, the one place I’d never ever go to make friends. Although, maybe I should have, because these women are a riot! I have to say, I had a really crappy first impression of mom groups. When I had my first baby, breastfeeding didn’t really work out for me, and I was made to feel like shit about it. Everyone from one of my midwives, to random strangers at the ONE mom group I attended, made me feel bad about my decision to bottle feed. As a result, I never wanted to leave the house because I had a fear that people would stone me to death if they ever caught a glimpse of a bottle in my diaper bag. I’m over that now. I think breastfeeding is amazing. I would have loved to have been able to do it, but it never happened for me (and I DID see a lactation consultant). Regardless, I’d love to have the chance to go back in time so I could tell those judgemental women to suck a tit.
But I digress. I don’t know how that specific conversation led to the next, but we started talking about personality traits. One of the ladies mentioned something about carrying a book of stamps in your purse, and what that says about you. Now, I’m a loudmouth. I do not tend to think before I say anything, and after 2 glasses of wine, my ability to keep my mouth shut has completely gone out the window. My reaction: “Are you fucking kidding me? Carrying around a book of stamps says something about you? Like what? You are CRAZY?” Well, aren’t I a fool. There I sat, while 3 of the 6 of us pulled stamps out of their purses! I was dying laughing. Seriously? I don’t even have a purse with me, let alone a book of stamps! It would never enter my head that I should be prepared to mail something at any given moment. I was told that these stamps say important things about us, and that it was on Dr. Phil, and that I needed to Google it. Ok, I will look into that. But now I’m really interested in this personality traits business and what our stuff says about us. If stamp carrying makes you a conscientious person, what does it say that I don’t even have a damn purse? I’m worried. Now it’s time to go through purses and compare contents. What other administrative tasks are these women prepared for? It seemed these women had everything. At one point I was waiting for a potted plant to be pulled from a handbag, Mary Poppins style. One woman busted out a Tide-To-Go pen in case she needed to do some laundry treatments on the fly. I know this is typical mom stuff. They all have purses filled with things that they might need to clean or entertain their kids with. I used to be like that too, but I guess I got lazy. Now I just rely on the other women (like the ones I was with last night) to cover me.
This is the purse I’m interested in purchasing. When we’re out with our kids, I appreciate their kid-friendly supplies, and I know they’ll thank me when I pour them a sippy cup of wine, (because naturally they’ll have an extra in their purse) while I drink from the spout.
All jokes aside, I am kind of in awe of these women. They plan out every detail of what they are doing, and when and how. They have their shit together. We got on to discussing how I’m taking the kids to Disney in a week. They were horrified that I hadn’t planned it all out, down to what we’ll be wearing. But honestly, having kids has taught me that when you plan something, someone will get sick, or hurt, and then all those plans go to shit anyway. After spending a lot of time being a totally anal nightmare, I’ve kinda switched teams. When it comes to planning, I hate doing it now. I avoid it. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a phase, like teen rebellion.
So here I am… After a night of laughing, I’m sitting here doing a personality test I found on Dr. Phil’s website. The Big Five Test. My results are in. I rank high in openness to experiences, conscientiousness and extraversion. However, I rank low in agreeableness (ahahaha. My mom always told me I wasn’t very agreeable). The most startling for me though, is that my neuroticism score is double that of the average woman (or man for that matter). As I’m reading the list of traits and signifiers of a highly neurotic person, I am nodding, check, check, check… YUP.. I’m completely and utterly neurotic!
Take the test here and let me know how neurotic (or not) you are. I also want to know, do you have stamps in your purse/wallet?