Let’s Ask Santa for Liquor.

This year, we’re skipping Christmas. Yeah, that’s right. Every year around this time I start to feel the dread of the holiday season. I know, everyone loves Christmas. But for the most part, it makes me feel guilty, bad and at times, fills me with rage. Everyone goes crazy over Christmas, and it freaks me out. This year I’m not going to be panicked about buying the perfect gift for everyone (Is it just me or does it feel like it is mandatory to buy everyone you’ve met in your life something?), freaking out in the long check-out lines or driving around frantically looking for a parking spot.  I will not be stressed out over having the “perfect” Christmas. I’m all about “festive”(especially the Swiss Chalet Festive Special), but come on people. Let’s simmer down here. If we need to start shopping in August to get everything done by December 25th, we know we have a serious problem. It’s all too much. It seems like we’ve all forgotten what we’re supposed to be doing during the Christmas season. We should all be hanging out with the people we love, eating ridiculous amounts of delicious food, drinking wine (or whatever your poison), laughing, playing board games, making jokes, CELEBRATING!! This year, instead of hanging around here, watching our bank accounts drain and our stress levels rise, we’re running away. We’ll be on a plane headed for Orlando. I would like to state for the record, that this was not my choice. I really wanted to go to Mexico but DH wouldn’t agree to that (I’m working on that for next year). It’s a little disappointing (to me anyway) that our big escape is to Orlando; land of Disney World, super-sized Walmarts and any kind of junk food you could ever dream of, but the kids are stoked. I just remind myself that Christmas is about our kids now, not my own selfish desires to be sipping slushy drinks by the pool. Anyway, what’s great about this is that somehow through paying all of our business bills with our visa (and then paying it off obviously), we had more than enough points to get us there, and guess what else? We had enough points to fly our closest friends to join us. Lucky for us, my in-laws are crazy nice enough to let us use their house. Pretty sweet deal, I’d say. Except, here’s the thing. We love our friends, but they have 3 kids too! So, 2 weeks with 6 KIDS!!?? Hardly a vacation in my books. Actually, when I think about it, we are trading stressful Christmas, for stressful vacation. Hmmm… But, at least our kids will have their best friends to play with, we’ll have our friends to drink away the pain with, and surely there will be some pretty crazy stuff for me to write about. The 10 of us will spend 2 weeks together Griswold-style. We’ll eat, drink, play, take our kids to Disney, lose our shit, drink some more, possibly blow up a turkey, and make memories with friends we love like family (maybe even more). What’s even better about the situation? Explaining to the kids that they have to ask Santa for something that fits in a suitcase. SCORE!! This will be our most cost-effective and memorable Christmas yet!

Last night we were talking to Natalie about what she is going to ask Santa for. Her father reminded her that it MUST fit in her suitcase. She paused and thought about it for a second and then proclaims, “I’m going to ask Santa for an iPhone!!” F**K!


The Three Amigos. I love these asshats enough to brave Disney AGAIN!!



2 thoughts on “Let’s Ask Santa for Liquor.

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