The Self Check

Since the title of this blog has wine in the title, perhaps I should explain the test we call the “self check.” With three small children in the house, we obviously enjoy alcoholic beverages. It goes without saying, that when life gets crazy, we stop and have a drink together to make sense of the insanity. That said, we must check our status every once in awhile, to make sure we aren’t going above and beyond social drinking into the land of indulging too much. One night my DH (Dearest Husband, not to be confused with Dumb Husband, Dick Head Husband, Dolt Husband or any other variation. I will gladly let you know when I’ve changed his nickname to any of the above mentioned.)  Anyway, my DH came home to say, I want to check to make sure I have this drinking thing under control so I’m doing the “self check.” Confused, as I often am, I asked for clarification. This check involves not drinking any sort of alcoholic beverage for a designated time. If at such time, one “needs” a drink or can’t be without a drink, then a red flag goes up and a drinking problem could be indicated. After a very long, hard week of relentless work, whining children and an excessive amount of family stress, DH says he’s having a beer. Sure, fine, totally OK with me. He says to me, “It’s OK, I’ve done my self check. I’m good to go.” After his designated non-drinking time he has come to the firm decision that this beer after work is not a problem, but merely a way to unwind and relax from a hard day. OK, I get this. I am a total fan of pre-dinner drinks, social cocktail hours and occasional “we don’t have kids, let’s get loaded” behaviours. I was shocked that he was even concerned about this. I don’t know many parents that don’t indulge (or over-indulge when necessary) when given the opportunity. It didn’t even cross my mind that beer was something he was worried about. OK, I’m going to be dead honest here. I LOVE wine. There isn’t a wine I’ve really ever disliked. I mean, if it’s that bad, add ginger ale. It’s all good. I have never felt that having a glass of wine while making dinner was a bad thing. Call me crazy, but what’s the big deal? I have three kids. I do not get the chance to drink until I can’t function. After that glass of wine (or two) I have to bathe my kids, read them stories, tuck them in. How does one do that while highly intoxicated? I’ve never thought I needed the “self check.” Sure, given the opportunity (away from my kids) I will drink my face off. Hell, I get that chance very few times a year. But, on a day to day basis? Really? Why is this even a topic to discuss? So, after DH has concluded that he isn’t an alcoholic, the conversation turns to me. When was the last time I did a self-check? How do I know I’m in the clear? My answer: “I’m a woman. I just know.”  I’m drinking a glass of wine while I type this. My kids are in bed. CHEERS!!!

Of course I mean no disrespect to people who suffer from alcoholism. It’s in no way a joke or something to take lightly, and I would never diminish the severity of this disease. All I’m saying is, don’t hate on parents who have drinks. 

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